Success Is Success No Matter How Small

Success Is Success No Matter How Small

A little follow up on the thoughts from earlier this week, about days I do and days I don’t…

For most of the rest of the week, I didn’t. I just…didn’t.

Barely making it to get the kids up for their buses for school, I felt rushed and disoriented.

I did the basics.

I fed the babies, made sure they were entertained and clean, and kept their bottles washed and ready for the next round.

I barely kept up with dishes. I did minimal laundry.

But I showered!

When the older boys came home from school, I made sure they were fed and finished their papers or other homework for school, then made sure they showered before bed.

That was it.

Every morning, we all struggled to wake up and repeat the cycle again. And every night, we all had a hard time falling asleep at a decent hour… again.

All week long.

I probably say this nearly every week, but I am so thankful today is Friday!

And to make it even better, this is a long weekend for us! The kids don’t go back to school until Tuesday.

Glorious!

But today was better for me, personally, for a few reasons.

A dear friend came and helped me out today, trying to get a few things handled in my insanely disastrous house.

And get things done, we did!

Let me preface today’s accomplishments with something first, though.

I woke up the same way today as I had all other days this week. I didn’t want to do anything. I wasn’t motivated, and it was a major “Don’t” day, for sure!

My friend and I had already planned on her coming to help me out today, earlier this week, so I was determined to follow through with it. But before she even messaged me this morning, I talked myself out of it and back into it again at least three times.

I sat at my table, sipped my first cup of coffee, and grumbled about the fact that Titus and Levi missed their bus this morning. Levi felt the need, last minute, to shower and Titus was trying his best to get out of going to school at all. That is rare for him, but it was happening today!

They finally left and I continued to sit and sip coffee. I surfed Facebook for a bit, glanced at Twitter, and checked my emails, then went right back to FB to just… scroll.

I did start the laundry and wash a few dishes, but I was nowhere near ready to hit the pavement hard, working to get things cleaned, moved, and organized.

My phone dings.

She’s getting herself ready to head my way.

My grumbling changed to a little hope. I felt hope that maybe I would see more than 30% of my floors by the end of the day. Hope that I would get all the baby stuff moved and my house looking more like a home and less like a walk-through storage unit. And hope that I would finally feel like I got something done for the first time this week!

She arrived a bit later, and we set to the task. Many of them, in fact.

Between the two of us we managed to accomplish the following:

My bedroom was cleared of ALL baby stuff no longer needed.

My bed was cleaned off, again.

My bedroom floors were swept and cleared, again.

The hallway was cleared of baby boxes and storage items.

The dining room was cleaned, swept, and the laundry in said room was all folded.

The kitchen was cleaned, swept, and almost all the dishes done and put away.

The living room was cleaned, organized, swept, and spot cleaned in places on the floors.

Trash was taken out and picked up.

More laundry was completed. Washed, dried, and put away.

And the babies were entertained, fed, changed, cared for, held, cuddled, and snuggled during the entire process.

We worked and worked until after the boys got home from school.

Mom and Dad came by and dropped off my new bookshelves, too!

Yayness!

When it was all done, and after she left, I sat down and started thinking about how much we got done and how excited I was about it.

And then, another thought occurred to me.

Yes, we got a lot completed. We cleaned, scrubbed, moved things, and transformed this place into actual living space again. It was great!

But every day, I have my own small successes. And I tend to forget those all too often.

Even on my “don’t” days, I actually “do.”

Everyone makes it to school. The babies get spoiled. Dishes get done (even if not all of them). Laundry gets done (again, even if not every piece). We all eat every day, sometimes big meals and sometimes hamburger helper or PB&J sandwiches, but we do eat every day. Everyone showers and brushes their teeth before they go to bed inside this tiny house, we call home.

Sometimes I get more done than others and sometimes it’s just the bare minimum.

But tonight, as I sit here reflecting on each day of this past week, I am certain of one thing, and I’ll put it in words that remind me of a Dr. Seuss line in one of his books:

A success is a success, no matter how small.

Remember that with a smile.

All the love,

Becca

Some Days I do Some Days I don’t

Some Days I do Some Days I don’t

Some days I have everything together. I get up and feel motivated to take on the world! I get things done, whether I’ve had coffee or not. I clean, cook, do laundry, run errands, and accomplish more than the little goals I set for myself for the day or the week. I just… rock!

And then, some days I don’t.

The past couple of years have been a complete roller coaster for myself and my little troop of kiddos!

You know those days I said I have everything together? Yeah, those days that I made it work and succeeded in my world seemed to be so few and far between.

The days I couldn’t function outnumbered the days I could by far.

My bed was everything, sometimes for days on end. It was my sleeping space, my workspace, school space, entertainment center, table for food, and just where the kids even came to hang out with me, because I just wouldn’t leave it.

I spent so many months in solitude, overwhelmed with daily life, emotions, worry, anxiety, and depression. It kept me down, literally.

Circumstances threw me to the ground and life stomped on me for a while.

It happens.

It happens to us all at one point or another.

Fast forward to today…

I have stood tall, dusted myself off from the falls in life, and carried on to the best of my abilities. It’s not been easy, not by a long shot! But I’ve done it, and I continue every day, working hard to do better than the day before.

But that doesn’t always happen.

Today is one of those days that I don’t.

My motivator is broken.

My thinker is overthinking.

It sucks!

The cool thing, though, is I can still turn a day I don’t into a day that I do!

Sometimes the inspiration comes on like a lightning bolt, surging me into action and things get done so fast I lose myself in the momentum!

And sometimes I have to pep-talk myself into action, then continue my own verbal encouragement every step of the way.

I’m not sure what today will be, but if I get ONE thing done, completed, today I will have succeeded.

On one of my “Do” days, a friend told me I make this single mom of five kids thing look easy.

I laughed out loud!

No, honey. I just had a day where I connected, somehow, with Superman and he loaned me some supernatural energy from Krypton, and things got done before I collapsed in my bed HOPING it would stay done for maybe the rest of the evening!

Not only do I have five children, but four of them are boys!

This is not an easy task for a single mama.

Even the neatest of boys leave their socks in the living room floor where they took them off while playing video games. And my boys aren’t “neat.”

On my “do” days, I clean this house like a machine, and all the things left behind by my not-so-neat boys get removed from sight and placed where they belong.

On my “don’t” days, I become a drill sergeant. Ranting at them to clean up after themselves before I unplug every electronic in the house and pile them all up in the shed outside.

Yeah, we still must find a happy medium there. Working on that.

And what’s worse is my children always seem to be on the same level of motivation as me!

So, when I’m “doing” they are in the mood to “do” as well. But they are at school while I’m getting everything done that they would do, and they come home inspired with nothing left to get done (besides their bedrooms, which they NEVER have the motivation to “Do”).

And then, on the days I “don’t” they don’t either, and we all end up frustrated and griping all over the house while things may, or may not, get done.

Sigh…

I’m raising a house full of empaths. Lovely.

Now, coming back from that squirrel I just chased after…

I really do have more “Do” days than “Don’t” days anymore, and that’s a huge step forward from where I was even one year ago!

And my reasons for the “don’t” days are completely different than they were a year ago too! Again, huge step forward!

Then it was overwhelming emotions, drama in my life, and depression.

Now it’s overwhelming piles of STUFF, not enough room for any of it, and trying to re-attain my ability to multitask like I used to a decade ago.

Is that possible? I mean, I am ten years older now…

Hmm…

But for now, I am going to post this blog, turn up my music, and attack SOMETHING that needs to be done in my house today.

Wish me luck!

All the love,

Becca

One of Those Weeks

One of Those Weeks

I’m sitting here tonight, pondering my week. And it’s been one of “those” weeks.

Part of me feels like a superhero, and the other part feels completely and utterly wiped out!

Let’s talk about the wiped-out part of me first.

The boys went back to school Monday. My oldest son missed Tuesday, which is rare. I rescheduled appointments I had Tuesday as well. We stayed home and did some housework and he got to sleep off his yucky feeling.

For some reason, this entire week has been a bit of a struggle.

Every morning I would get up, try to function, consume large amounts of coffee in an attempt to stay awake and do the things, and find myself lacking in my motivation until long after the kids came home from school in the afternoon.

And then, every night I would sit on my bed and look over the events of my day. I would be frustrated with myself at my lack of productivity, motivation, and inspiration. I had ideas, so many ideas, from the night before. I would write down something new every night, in hopes that I would wake up the next morning and be inspired to do something better.

And every day I would be disappointed in myself.

But we will not stay on the negatives tonight. Yes, it has been a rough week. It has been a week of little to no success in my plans for myself. But this week hasn’t ended on a totally negative note! And that is what is most important!

Here is what was important about my week…

I woke up every day, on time to get the kids on their buses for school. The kids got on their buses for school.

The babies were fed, changed, entertained, and happy all week.

I kept up with dishes and laundry all week.

We have food in the house, and the whole family ate well every day.

The older boys showered every day this week (and for moms of boys, you KNOW this was an accomplishment)!!!

We made it through the yucky weather last night/this morning with minimal panic, and all was well.

I may have gone to bed every night with some struggle against myself, because I wanted to do better, but I went to bed with the reminder to myself that I did it. I made it through every day, on my feet, doing all the things that NEEDED to be done, even if I didn’t accomplish the things I WANTED to get done.

Here’s where I felt like a bit of a superhero…

I did this alone. With five kids. And I do it every day.

I have the support of my own heroes every day. My mother has helped me immensely with grocery shopping. My grandmother has come and helped out a lot when I feel dragged down. My older three boys have done so many things to help me out (besides cleaning their rooms, of course).

Even with the helpers, the support, and the assistance with some things here and there, I still feel the weight of being a single mom. A single mom of five. And THAT is why I feel both like a superhero and exhausted!

So tonight, I am going to be very happy with myself and my week. I made it through to the end, once again, and I rocked it! I rocked those dirty dishes every day (with no dishwasher but my two hands, I might add). I rocked that laundry from the washer to the dryer to the mountain of clean laundry baskets in my dining room. I rocked those dinners every night, whether they were chicken nuggets and fries or roast with all the trimmings.

I’ve been told, “I don’t know how you do it!” and I’ve been told, “You make that look so easy!” Well, it’s not easy in the least, and I don’t know how I do it either! But I do it and so far, so good!

If I can do it, I KNOW you can too!

You got this, and I got your back! I see you, and I am cheering you on every step of the way. The struggle is real, and while that sounds like a cliché quote it is very true! This is real life, and real life is a struggle now and then. Some struggles last a little longer than others, but in the end, we have survived so far!

It’s been quite the week in my home, and I’m sure you have had quite a week yourself! Whether it be with the kids, work, housework, school, or family stuff going on, WE made it through this one!

That’s exciting!

And you know what? I’m going to get up tomorrow with a new “wish list” for myself. And if I don’t get it all done, it will be okay. Because the important things will be done, and everything else is just extra accomplishment.

Rest tonight, my friends. Rest and know it’s a new week with new possibilities and opportunities for amazing things!

Much Love!

Becca

Day One Or Day One Thousand?!

Day One Or Day One Thousand?!

So, tonight I am sitting on my bed, exhausted in more than one way after the return to school for the boys.

I mean, really! Was this day one, or day 1,000?!

Let’s just kick this off with a classic “Becca Moment” from last night.

I fell asleep last night while setting my alarm on my phone!

Lucky for me, I woke up three minutes before it would have gone off anyway. How, I still don’t know, but I’m so glad I did!

I got Trooper #3 up first, he got ready to go and made his bus on time. This is rare!

Troopers #1 and #2 were not so easy to rise from their comfy places.

The twins slept through the entire ordeal and I was able to enjoy a full cup of coffee before they woke and were ready to be fed. It was glorious!

House cleaning commenced and I am happy to say I accomplished several small things! I may have gotten a little sidetracked along the way…

And then the frustrating parts of my day began.

See, I am trying my best to monetize my blog, so I can generate income from home to support my babies. I am also working on a book! Yes, you read that right. A book.

I was supposed to speak with a writing coach today and she canceled our call because I cannot pay her any money right now. Talk about a let-down! The call itself was free, but she wants me to buy her program, and I understand that. I just cannot give any money to anything other than bills at this time. *sadface*

So, I set to work trying to get my transcripts released from the college I got my degree from, to the regional office of education in my town, so I can get my license to teach. The university claims that I owe them money from a class I did not take, and will not release my transcripts, which are required to complete my licensure.

I was on the phone for over four hours today. Transferred from one rep to another, and then another. Calls got dropped and I had to start over again.

It was not my afternoon.

Somewhere in the middle of the phone battle, I started getting text messages from Trooper #2 stating that he was not feeling well and needed to come home. This started around 12:30pm and continued until the end of the day.

No. He is not sick.

He is struggling with some anxiety related to school and his body is affected by his anxiety and stress. This is another hurdle we get to jump together.

The boys got home from school while I was still battling over the phone with colleges and financial departments.

That will continue tomorrow as well.

I prepped food to be cooked for supper. When it was time to make said supper, NOBODY was awake!

I walked around the house like a lost puppy, checking my children for signs of life because it wasn’t even 6pm yet and not even one was making a sound! Good thing they had snacks before they crashed!

So, I came to my bed and got comfortable with my notebooks, journals, planners, Bible, another book I am currently reading, and determination to calm my over-anxious mind.

The struggle is real, folks!

I am taking you along with me on this journey, every step of the way. The good, the bad, and the ugly! Today was a little bit of good with a lot of the ugly. The good will always be my kiddos, my support system, and the knowledge that I am going to get through this.

I have said it before, and I’ll say it again. The outcome will be great, but the process is hard. It is very hard.

Today was just another chapter in this story of joyful chaos. Another piece of the testimony I will use in my amazing success I will achieve some day. That will be a great day, indeed.

But for now, I will focus on the good, deal with the bad, and make the ugly into something beautiful!