coffee | My Joyfully Chaotic Life

Cabin Fever Has Set In!

by Becca McConnell | Apr 9, 2020 | Anxiety, Coping with Stress, Depression, Family, Family Health, House Work, Lifestyle, Motherhood, Motivation, Parenting, Quarantine Life, Self Care

Cabin Fever has set in.

Everyone is cranky, and nobody can get along for any longer than ten minutes, so it seems.

Moods are shifty, tension is high, and I have felt completely helpless to solve any problem in my household, period.

Dishes are piled everywhere. Laundry (both clean and dirty) has found its way out of place and in every room.

If I were to take a trash bag through the house with me today, I would fill it as I walk from my bedroom to my kitchen. Maybe not with trash alone, but with everything that is in my way, underfoot, and things that I am tired of looking at where they do not belong! And the trash, of course.

We’ve had rain. Thunderstorms. Tornado warnings. And more rain.

It got warm and sunny, and then it got cold and cloudy. Mother Nature is still trying to figure out if she really wants spring to fully be here yet.

And the Cabin Fever continues…

Last Friday was that “Amazing Day” we had and yet, starting that very night, at bedtime after everyone was supposed to be settled and, in their beds, sleeping, mayhem began.

The babies didn’t sleep well that night. Fussy and restless, we were all awake nearly the entire night.

Saturday morning, I crawled out of my bed exhausted and ready for coffee.

The coffee didn’t help. And THAT was a first!

Apparently, the boys had stayed awake nearly all night as well, and were only asleep when the sun came up Saturday morning. I was too focused on the babies to realize they were all up, too. Besides Levi. He kept checking on me and the twins.

Bless his little heart!!

I spent the majority of the weekend dealing with fussy babies, dishes, laundry, mess all over the place leftover from the baby cave-man party of five boy children the day before, and tracks of mud and dirt from the front door of my house to the bathroom, where showers were taken and muddy clothes dropped all around.

My nerves were shot when the boys decided they could finally rise from their little places of sweet sleep and rest. Getting anyone to participate in ANY productive activity was like dragging them to school on a Monday, any given week!

And then, real Monday happened.

And it happened all over the place! All week!

Weather complications kept children indoors much of the time, causing further tensions and some excessive arguments and outbursts, and pressure on my already snapping strings!

And then, the miraculous happened!

Electronics were taken away from the older boys, instructions given for two options: productive work around the house and yard with me, or, exiting the house and participating in fun and games TOGETHER outside.

Of course, they chose the latter of the options.

And it worked!

We went for a walk one day, worked outside on some small things another day, and I got more things done inside while they were out from under my feet on the rest of the time! It was great!

We had the ups and downs, of course, but progress was made! I feel like we are back on track! Dinners together in the evening (instead of random snack foods munched on around the house in our own spaces), actual conversations without arguments and drama, and, of course, my seeds are growing and making me smile more and more each day!

The kids still keep me up half the night, but I have coffee.

There’s still sibling drama, but I have coffee.

We still struggle with some things like, schoolwork, certain chores, and fighting during certain video games, but I have coffee.

I have sat up late at night with fussy babies, or just fussy myself… but I have coffee!

Coffee isn’t the only thing that has kept me going through this little Cabin Fever situation, thankfully! We have worked through some of our issues and come so some solutions together.

Setting timers, making lists, taking breaks, and just having our “personal time” away from each other, even in this tiny house, we have been able to survive Cabin Fever amazingly!

Annnnnd, now that I have things moving in order in the right direction, I get to apply some new things into our schedule and routine!

I am excited, the boys are kind of excited, and I know it is going to be a great turning point for us in this “Social Distance” life!

Cabin Fever is still a thing, but it’s not as bad as it was at the beginning of the week! That is enough for me!

Now…

To keep things going in the right direction.

Wish me luck? Haha!

Nah… we are going to do great! And I can’t wait to share the other things we will have going on, and the ideas I have!

There will be written work done, some photo opportunities, videos and audios, and just a lot of things to share from my little family to yours.

Things from “Quarantine Life Survival Kits and Guides”, written by me, to “Bedtime stories: told by the children, not read from a book” which is self-explanatory, and “Cabin Fever Recovery” because that is the one that I needed the most, and I know there are plenty of people out there now who need that as well!

I am looking forward to the next post, and I hope that you are too!

Much Love!

Becca

Stop! Take some “Me Time”

by Becca McConnell | Mar 3, 2020 | Anxiety, Back To School, Coping with Stress, Depression, Family Health, Lifestyle, Motherhood, Motivation, Parenting, Self Care

As a mother, I find that I rarely take time for myself. It’s all about the kids in my life, and I am more than happy to have this role!

As a Single Mother, though, I tend to lose myself more often than not and it takes a toll on me physically, mentally, and emotionally from time to time.

From the rising of the sun we are go, go, go.

Kids up, showered, ready for their buses to school. If they miss said buses, hurry and get a hold of the grandparents next door to make sure they noticed the bus leaving without one or more children… Yes, folks. This is my life.

After everyone is off to school, whether on a bus or in a grandparent vehicle, it is time to tend to the twinsies.

Babies fed and cared for, on to household chores while they entertain themselves with their fun toys and flashy, loud music things.

Dishes, laundry, clean, break for coffee (probably the second or third cup by now… don’t hate!), back to it, break again to feed, change, and put babies down for a nap…

I Try to work in some blogging, posting on social media for my other job ( I am an independent Scentsy consultant – full time ), feed myself (probably for the first time that day), and back to babies when they wake… around the same time the older three get home from school (again, bus or grandparent vehicle).

About the parent vehicle part, I will have to post a blog about my darling maternal grandparents very soon! My relationship with them is definitely an entire blog posting on its own!

Kids get home, snacks, games, homework (if they admit they have any), some boy fights here and there, scrapes, bangs and booms, supper, showers, more scrapping, gaming, and playing with the babies (they actually do that A LOT), and finally bed!

Typically, I lay in my bed after everyone is sound asleep, NIGHTLY, and wonder where in the world the day went and how I missed it so easily!

Sometimes I sit and take selfies, in hopes that I can use them in a blog post someday, too!

I run through my mental checklist:

Did I make the phone calls I told myself LAST NIGHT I was going to make today?

Did I eat more than once?

Did I get everyone’s stuff back in their backpacks, so we don’t go hunting for papers tomorrow?

Did I shower?! *sniffs under arms* Yeah, we’re good.

Can grocery shopping wait till the day after tomorrow?

Did I check my planner? *near panic*

Did I miss any appointments?

*checks planner in the dark*

Ok, whew! We’re good.

Wait… what if I didn’t write something down and I did have an appointment that we missed?? *panic again*

*Takes out notebook, in the dark, and begins tomorrow’s checklist*

*Falls asleep writing…*

630am next morning, Repeat.

OK STOP!!

This is where you HAVE to stop the cycle! It HAS to end! If it doesn’t, you will find yourself exhausted, frustrated, emotionally wrecked, spread too thin, and eventually burnt out completely!

Take a minute. I don’t care if it’s midnight tonight, or in that single, quiet moment after the kids are out the door for school.

Take a DEEP breath! Hold it for a few seconds. Let it out… SLOWLY.

Repeat!

Moms are built to withstand a lot in this life, but sometimes we put more on ourselves than necessary, and sometimes the load needs to lighten.

So, after you take that breath, find your planner, phone app, whatever you need, and if you have to-schedule yourself into your own life! Get your “Me Time” in, and everyone around you will be better for it! You, most of all!

Mama, your health matters! All of it! Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual! Every part of you is important and I support you taking the time you need to see to your health!

If you only have 30 minutes a day to yourself, don’t spend it on social media. Find something that you think about, something maybe you miss doing because you never have time anymore. Make time for it!

Take a walk.

Don’t like walking? Go for a drive.

In the car too much? Sit under a tree, or on the porch, and soak in some sun.

Don’t like being outside? Sit at the kitchen table with a magazine, newspaper, book, puzzle, journal, or something to occupy your hands and mind with.

Listen to a podcast!

Don’t like reading? Honey get you an audio book! There are free apps for them!

Take a long, relaxing bath.

Don’t have a tub? (I don’t!) Take a long hot shower with music playing in the bathroom. Don’t lie… you take your phone in there!

Lay down for a bit and enjoy the silence.

Don’t think you can lay still? Take that audio book or podcast with you and listen to it there!

Bake cookies! Or brownies! I like to use the cheater boxes that only take 3 ingredients and 30 minutes!

Kids all over you every minute of the day, you say! Tell them it’s time to do chores if they are going to hang around inside the house! Booyah! Instant solitude!

Just wait. If you have an excuse, I have a solution!

Your time is important! And it’s just as important to YOU as it is to anyone else out there! There is only ONE you! Use wisely!

There really is serious meaning to “stop and smell the roses” people. It doesn’t have to be that you stop and smell flowers all the time. No! It means take that moment. Take note of the little things around you. One of those things being your ability to stop! Because, you CAN!

Don’t give yourself to everyone around you until there is nothing left.

Remember that you deserve some of you too.

Old Habits Die Hard: Breaking the Monotony of Daily Repeat… Becca Style

by Becca McConnell | Feb 21, 2020 | Anxiety, Coping with Stress, Family, House Work, Lifestyle, Motherhood, Motivation, Parenting, Self Care

Sometimes life repeats itself in a never-ending circle of monotony.

Get up in the morning.

Get the kids ready for school.

Bathe, dress, and feed the babies.

Housework routine.

Mom routine.

Kids come home from school.

More mom routine.

Eat supper.

Everyone gets ready for bed and sleeps (usually later than planned).

Up the next day and repeat…

How does one break up the monotony of this cycle? Is there a productive solution?

If there is one thing I know it is that old habits die hard, and bad habits die even harder.

So, can someone who lives in the broken-record style of life smooth out the chaos?

YES!

How does one start on the progress part of this mountain climbing expedition? By taking the first step, and then each step thereafter.

There are a lot of different things that someone can do to change the routine in their home from “non-routine” or “organized chaos” into something a little more fulfilling. I mean, I’m in the process of doing that myself!

So basically, I am inviting you to join with me in making a positive change. I am in the trenches right there with you. My family and I are working on lots of things! And me, being the scattered personality that I am, I have overwhelmed myself with too many amazing ideas of change and progress.

I don’t recommend doing that, at all! Ha! It’s bad for the mind. Have you ever seen a machine that overloaded? It starts steaming, shaking, and making weird noises as it begins to crash… and at the end, when the whole thing shuts down, it sits there… smoke creeping from the cracks as it makes that slow hissing sound of death.

That’s what I do to my brain when I get super excited about making changes and forget to take it slow.

This time I decided I was going to do it differently and prevent a premature shutdown of progress.

Where did I start my routine change?

My first change was staying up after I got the kids off to school.

That’s it.

One thing.

Don’t go back to bed. Stay up.

Of course, during the first weeks and months after having the twins, I slept as much as my body and brain would allow. But, they are seven months old now, and I have been able to bring myself out of the habit of sleeping in too late.

I get up, get the older three boys ready for their buses, see them off, and then set to the task of feeding myself and maybe getting a thing or two done before the twins wake up and need my attention.

Enter my personality quirk.

I realized just how much can get done in an hour or two, when you have motivation, progress happening in front of you, and some awesome music to listen to while you work. Or, a friend or two to chat with on Marco Polo on the phone while working as well. 😉

Just by staying up I figured out I could clean an entire house before 11am!

Now, you don’t have to jump in headfirst like I did. I only mentioned staying up instead of going to bed as a first step. My “all or nothing” personality gets in my own way all too often, and I did my first step (staying up instead of sleeping in) and then took three more steps at the same time!

And that brings me to step two: MODERATION

Do NOT overwhelm yourself with “change.”

This is where things go south, and fast!

How do you eat a 10lb steak? One bite at a time, right?

Don’t expect yourself to transform into some super-parent model for the world to admire in a day, week, or even a month!

Like I said before, I am a scattered personality, and I will lose direction if I don’t stop and check myself now and then. I even have to tell myself, out loud, to slow down and remember Moderation!

So, remember Moderation, because it truly is one of the most important things when making changes in a family dynamic, routine, schedule, and so on.

Now, are you ready for step three?

Step Three: which is basically a repeat of step one. Pick one thing to work on, and work on it. It can be anything. A routine change like my step one was, or a menu change for the family. Maybe clean out a closet, or kitchen cabinet. It can be whatever you want it to be.

And then step four: MODERATION.

That’s it!

I love how simple things can be if we allow them to be!

I am the master of complicating things that can be simple, because of how my mind processes the little things. Anyone who lives with anxiety understands the necessity of reminding ourselves to slow down, use moderation, don’t overdo it, and pace ourselves.

So, here we are. And it’s kind of funny how I got here.

I wrote at the beginning of this post that the cycle that never ends, constantly repeating itself, broken record style, is monotonous and I am trying to change mine. And yet, I just wrote out a repetitive list, broken record style, that would be the breaker of the monotony! Ha! It doesn’t get any more “ME” than that, does it?!

Welcome to my world! Hahaha!

So a simple breakdown of the way to kill the broken record monotony in your life: