Back To School-Pandemic Style: The Journey of Learning Continues

Back To School-Pandemic Style: The Journey of Learning Continues

by | Sep 12, 2020 | Anxiety, Autism, Back To School, Coping with Stress, Family, Family Health, Lifestyle, Motherhood, Motivation, Parenting

If there is one thing that I KNOW I’m not going through alone, it is the return to school for my children during a pandemic.

Oh. My. Word!

Social Distancing, wearing masks, only going to school for two days, half days at that, and the rest online learning. It’s all part of a phrase I have come to loathe, personally: “The New Normal.”

Just, no.

It isn’t normal, new or otherwise, but it is an adjustment that we all have to deal with, one way or another, whether we like it or not.

Many people have chosen to homeschool their children this year. Many have waited for the day their children would return to the schools again.

For myself and my family, thus far, we are doing the “blended learning” program that our district has offered.

Why?

Because I NEED some time to myself (well, with the twins too), to get some things done, daily “office” type things, and my online work selling my glorious Scentsy stuffs! (Yes Lawd!)

And because my boys NEED to spend some time out of the house!

Cabin Fever was a thing, and a very intense thing, for a while this spring/summer! I prefer not to repeat the stress that came with that before the older boys went to their dad’s place for a time.

It continued while they were gone, for all of us.

Yes, Micah and I kept busy doing the remodel of the bedrooms, moving things, dumping things, organizing, and cleaning things, but we didn’t leave the house.

Titus and Levi did the bare minimum while with their father, because of the restrictions, and they were confined to their spaces there as well.

When they returned home, we got ready for school to begin.

Boy… was that fun! NOT!

Emails from the schools, parent surveys about remote learning and blended learning programs, the options for social distancing and if parents would comply or prefer to keep their children at home. The list goes on!

Do we buy school supplies, or do we buy computers?

Do we prepare for school attendance with extra laundry detergent, bleach, Clorox wipes, sanitizers, etc., or do we buy a deep freezer and stock up on extra food because we are about to have ALL our kids home all day, every day?

And then there’s the masks…

If the kids went to school, they would wear masks… the entire time!

Stress!

I paced my house, daily, looking at my space. I wondered if I would need to move things around to make more space for small desks or tables, get chairs for said desks, or if I should be buying backpacks and supplies.

I filled out the parent surveys, sent them in, and waited…

Then we got the notice that blended learning was optional, and so was full remote learning.

Uhm…

Yeah, my kids are going to school!

So, what is the schedule of the blended learning program our district has put together?

I’m so glad you asked!

My boys are in “group B” and attend on Tuesday and Thursday every week, from 8am to 12:30pm. The remainder of the week, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, they do online learning via the chromebook computers provided on loan by the district for the academic year.

We are currently in week four…

I still have my hair.

It is turning gray.

We have a wretched sleep schedule!

Online days are rough. Attendance days are not quite as rough.

I get some time to do bigger projects in the house while they are gone for a half day, and it feels good to have my time to dance with the broom, and sing into my kitchen utensils turned microphone while I clean them and put them away.

The twins enjoy my antics, and I am rewarded with many giggles, squeals, applause, and they are even starting to mimic my noises and behaviors. It’s gold!

Developing a functional routine in a blended learning environment has proven to be a challenge. It’s not at all the same, or as simple, as it is not consistent… yet.

It will be. It is just taking some time, adjustment, and more patience than I think I have at this time. Ha!

With all the computers, folders, papers, schedules, appointments, and that’s just the three older boys, I am a busy human!

I’m not sure when (or if) we will figure out a functional routine for this blended learning thing, but we are doing our best. Between me, three kids in school, two babies needing more and more active attention, and a house to keep up with, I’m a tired mama by the end of each day.

But! On the days when my checklist gets beyond the halfway point completed, I go to bed that night quite content! I make insane checklists for myself, and I keep thinking of more and more to add to them as the day goes on, so if I get through the parts that I created the night before I’m a happy camper!

But that’s a blog for another day. LOL!

Point is, we aren’t settled in a pattern yet. We may never be. And that’s okay. This is a year of crazy things, drastic changes, things beyond our control, and unexpected twists and turns all the way around. We haven’t been okay for months.!

It’s okay to not be okay.

That is something I cannot say enough.

I have been blessed with super resilient children. That is a blessing and a curse at the same time, because they learn to adapt to change, and some changes are not that great… but they adapt to them, and creating structure in the aftermath of such changes can be… difficult.

Because what is harder to kill than anything else?

Bad habits…

And THAT is also another blog for another day. LoL!

I would LOVE to hear your back to school stories. Your struggles, your victories, and the journey you are on with your children!

This is interactive! In so many ways!

I want to be there for you. I want to support you! And I would love your support and encouragement as well!

Until next time…

All the love!

Becca

Let’s Talk About Change…

Let’s Talk About Change…

by | Aug 28, 2020 | Anxiety, Coping with Stress, Depression, Lifestyle, Motivation, Prayer

Let’s talk about change for a minute…

I have come a long way in the past couple of years.

I have peace, joy, happiness, and a lot more patience than I have in a very long time!

Are my circumstances different? Not really… but I see them differently!

My life has purpose!

My trials are lessons, my sufferings are strengthening, and I am having so many growth moments! Every day there is a reason to smile, a lesson to learn, and so many chances to pray!

Now, are my experiences different? YES! I do NOT make the same mistakes I did in the past!

One of the amazing things about forgiveness of God is that I have been able to bury it all, just as He did! I am LIBERATED!

I used to use the “turn your stumbling blocks into steppingstones” phrase a lot in years past, but recently I adopted another one… “turn your stumbling blocks into tombstones.”

And this is where God stepped in!

I went to all my pain. All the hurts, the wrongs, the mistakes, the choices made, people I allowed to influence my mind and heart, words I said, the things done to me, said to me, and all the weapons I allowed to hurt me… and I buried them.

Every. Single. One.

And upon each of those graves, I erected a tombstone. There is nothing on that tombstone, just a smooth face, reflecting the light of God shining down on my life. They need no name. My mind will carry the memories of them well enough on its own, so I don’t need the extra reminder of what and who they were.

Only Grace.

“…But where sin abounded, Grace did much more abound.” – Romans 5:20(b)

It’s glorious!

I am changed! I am a walking testament of Romans 12:1-2 where Paul speaks to the church, beseeching them to present themselves as living sacrifices, acceptable to God… and that they be not conformed to this world, but TRANSFORMED by the renewing of the mind.

Y’all… let me tell you!

When you open your mind to Grace, you open your world up to a whole new level of Joy!

I spent so long being angry and bitter, my face froze that way! I remember people constantly asking me “You ok? Something wrong? Are you mad?” and I wasn’t! I was just minding my own business!

Today that face no longer exists! I smile, I laugh, I giggle, and I sing all over the place! In my house, my car, the yard, waking the kids up in the morning, playing with the babies, doing the laundry, or driving down the road!

Because God!

Not me!

I tried making it on my own!

I tried healing my own wounds. I tried getting over my own hurts, and backtracking from my own mistakes. I didn’t want anyone’s help, and I most definitely didn’t want to prove some people right and have to rely on a church family for anything! Why would I go back to my first hurt?!

But this is where God stepped in!

Listen…

I am a child of God. I am beloved of Him, and I am His!

Even when I walked away, He stayed with me. He walked with me through it all. And even though I felt like all was lost, broken, and gone, He held my doubting heart and carried it through the worst of it all!

One passage changed my world, sitting all by myself in my bed one day, reading and trying to find SOMETHING that would lift me up…

Isaiah 43:1-2 “But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel: ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you.’”

After all this time! I never was alone, at all! YES!

And then… I knew I would have to face my greatest fear eventually: Going to church.

Why did I need this? Because we cannot survive on our own. Yes, God is enough! Yes, God has us! But God also instructs us to forsake NOT the assembling of ourselves… because this is necessary for so many reasons!

Why did I not want to go? Because it was the people there who hurt me first, and the place where my mind would convince me was the blame for my choices as I walked farther and farther away.

But go, I did. And I am happy to say I am quite alive after that experience. Ha!

No, really though. I am happy in the place where God has set me for now, and I am learning. I am growing. And I am excited that I have this freedom, this joy, and the genuine smile I thought I would never get back!

Change is good, my friends. And as more changes come, they will also be good! I do not fear the unknown as I used to. I look forward to it with excitement and anticipation!

*Happy Dance*

Tend The Soil: A poem and devotional moment

Tend The Soil: A poem and devotional moment

by | Jul 5, 2020 | Coping with Stress, Depression, Lifestyle, Motivation, Prayer, Self Care

We have entered a season of planting, of life and growth, and change.

But is the soil ready? Listen… tend the soil.

The seeds are ready to be placed in the ground, Everything from fruit and vegetables to trees and flowers!

But is the soil ready? Listen… tend the soil.

The sower went to sow his seeds, as Jesus told in his parable long ago.

And He is ready to sow again!

But is the soil ready? Listen… tend the soil.

And who are we? The sower? The seeds? No, we are the vessel, the place where things can grow!

But is the soil ready? Listen… tend the soil.

Is it easy to till the ground? No. There are rocks and thorns, and places high and low to be brought up and leveled down.

But before things can grow or even be planted, we must tend the soil.

The soil must be broken, tilled and plowed until it is fine like powder.

We will sweat in the sun, and toil in the rain, working the day and night hours.

For the harvest we see in the months and years to come

Will start with the soil before anything else. Is it ready? Listen… tend the soil.

And like the parable Jesus told see it from the ground. Does your soil have anything that could hinder growth of your fruit? Listen… tend the soil.

Even after planting, the crops need to grow.

The harvest comes from the fruit, the fruit from the stem, the stem from the stalk, and the stalk from the root. And where is the root? Listen… tend the soil.

If the soil is too dry the root will wither away. If too wet the plant will drown.

If there is too much in the way, thorns, rocks, sticks, and weeds, the plants will be smothered. Please hear me… tend the soil.

Time will go on, after the seeds are planted. It may be a while before the sprouts will show.

Now is not when we should take a break, or think our work is over. Now it is most important to tend that soil!

The first showing of our labor, crops raising all around! But along with the crops will come the weeds, here and there, in between and if left unattended will destroy the ground. Listen! Oh, hear me… tend the soil.

And when the fruit of the labor has finally come, and the harvest is upon us. The benefits will be shared with the world, from end to end, gifts and blessings… from the soil!

When the season has ended, and the harvest is complete. Even now is not the time to leave the ground unattended it must be ready for the new season and the new seeds. Tend the soil.

From the earth we are made, vessels of soil, where the Father wishes to grow, fruits to share with others everywhere More than we could even dare to know.

But one seed is not what we are made to hold, we go through seasons too. From tilling to planting and growing and harvest to clearing and planting again. Listen… tend the soil.

And how do we tend the soil, to keep it smooth and clear? With prayer, the Word, and fellowship with the vessel maker, who has seeds a plenty and is looking for vessels with soil ready, tend the soil…

This is so important, for without the soil the crop cannot grow. There can be no harvest, no fruit to share or show. We have a great vision with no limits in our sights! But we cannot get too hasty to plant if the soil isn’t right.

This season of trial and struggle we have had the past several weeks, has been a time of tilling and plowing I firmly believe. My soil has been broken, I have felt things be lifted, cracked, pulled, plowed, and over again, but I have reached in and with my own hands, touched soil that has been left for so long I couldn’t tend it, and had to commit it to His hands.

For soil left too long cannot be tended alone, the Farmer must come and break it up to help the fruit to grow.

And now the season of planting and sowing seed has come… but please, oh please, don’t forget the soil from now to harvest and beyond.

Listen… tend the soil.

No Prayer Guilt: do NOT feel guilty for praying ‘more’ when times are hard

No Prayer Guilt: do NOT feel guilty for praying ‘more’ when times are hard

by | Jun 12, 2020 | Anxiety, Coping with Stress, Depression, Lifestyle, Parenting, Prayer, Self Care

Do you ever feel like you pray more (and harder) when you are facing a trial?

And then, do you feel like you are failing yourself, and God, when those thoughts and feelings come to you?

I do!

Recently, I have found my way back to an amazing congregation (church) and have been increasing my prayer-life at least tenfold! It has been an amazing feeling, finding peace, harmony, love, support, and so many other things just from the church family I am now bonded to!

My conversations with, and about, God have been a breath of fresh air in my life, from childhood up to now. Even more so now, because I have a newfound understanding of where God can bring a person from… no matter how far they travel from His voice!

Even when I wasn’t a part of a church body, or even associating much with anyone who was, I never stopped praying.

But I did pray less.

I found myself praying more when something was wrong. When there was a financial issue, or health issue me or one of my children were struggling with, or when I was stressed over something, I had no control over.

And then the guilt would hit me hard.

“Prayer guilt,” I called it.

Even now! When I am stronger in my faith, when I am more connected with fellow prayer warriors, and when I pray just to pray!

It happens.

Prayer guilt is a real thing, y’all! We all struggle with it! We feel bad inside because we just spent hours in travail and agony praying over something we needed, couldn’t control, or over a fear… and then we sit back and wonder if we prayed enough in the good times for God to even hear us in the bad times!

Well, let me assure you! We need NOT have prayer guilt! Why? Let me give you some of many examples in the Bible!

King David! The “man after God’s own heart!”

He sinned! He coveted another man’s wife, and had the man killed so he could marry her! And they had a baby…

And then God told him that the baby would die…

And David prayed.

He anguished! He fasted, and he prayed. He begged God!

For how long?

Seven days…

How long did David dance before the Lord in the streets? Maybe several hours, until the Ark of the Lord was brought to the tabernacle.

Take the example of the Psalms in the Bible…

The shorter chapters are those of praise, worship, and glorifying God.

The longest chapters are prayers for help, freedom, peace, mercy, grace, and God’s presence to be felt.

But even in the longer chapters, they either both begin and end, or at least end, with praise and thanksgiving to God.

Even the prayer Jesus instructed others to pray, the one we know as “The Lord’s Prayer.”

“Our father who art in heaven,

Hallowed be thy name

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done

On earth as it is in heaven

Give us this day our daily bread

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil

For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever.” – Matthew 6.

Jesus went to the garden to pray and beg for the cup to be passed from him. He was there for HOURS!

And then moments of praise…

The Bible is filled with examples of why we should NOT feel guilty for praying harder and praying “more” when we are going through a trial.

Why? Because “the effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much!” – James 5:16

What does fervent mean?

“Adjective: having or displaying a passionate intensity.

          Hot, burning, or glowing.”

When do we fervently pray? When we are doing exactly what God told us to do!

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” – Matthew 7:7

My friends, we can pray and pray all day long for the things we need, the hurts we have, the desires of our hearts, and the fears we face! And there be NO guilt! Because God told us to do this!

This is our communication with Him! This is our place, as human beings who are finite, who do not have all the answers, to reach out and speak to the One who does! This is WHY we should not feel guilty for our travail and the hours we spend praying with tears, questions, asking, pleading, and seeking Him!

I am sharing this because I had prayer guilt this week! Today!

I prayed hard, so hard!

And when I was done, I immediately felt like I hadn’t prayed enough during the good weeks we have had. I battled myself in my mind and heart, thinking I just took advantage of my God, and that I should ‘go back and apologize and give more praise because I felt like all I did was ask, ask, ask!

See, we were created by this God, not only to worship Him, but to RECOGNIZE Him! He is the one with the answers when we have none. He is the one with the peace when we are in turmoil. He is the one with sanctuary when we are lost. And when we recognize that He is… we are still worshiping Him.

“Be anxious for nothing, but in EVERYTHING by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;” – Philippians 4:6.

So, pray, my friends. Pray it ALL!

Pray and cry when you hurt, are scared, struggling, lost, damaged, broken, angry, worried, at war with yourself (and others), and recognize that He holds the answers, safety, protection, peace, joy, healing, mercy, and fulfillment!

Pray and praise when you are happy, elated, overjoyed, relieved, get your answers, find your peace, being healed, find fulfillment, and recognize that He held the answers!

And NEVER feel guilty for talking to God!!!

The point is you reached out to Him. You recognized Him. And that alone is praise.

 

What Was Normal Before, And What Will Normal Be?

What Was Normal Before, And What Will Normal Be?

by | Apr 26, 2020 | Anxiety, Coping with Stress, Depression, Family, Family Health, Motherhood, Motivation, Parenting, Quarantine Life, Self Care

One thing that is first and foremost in everyone’s mind, these days, is the virus that has spread across the entire world.

Another thing is the economic crisis that has followed.

And another thing everyone worries about is, “When will things go back to normal?”

I have heard in many press conferences, people speaking of “Normal” and the “New Normal” for our country and our families.

That last bit begs a few questions, for all of us.

What is normal?

What was your “normal” before this began?

Did you like it?

Were you happy in your “normal?”

Was your old “normal” something you would want to return to?

Will you fall back into it even if you don’t want to?

I’ll share my old “normal” with you.

I had JUST become accustomed to a pattern of life. I had two infants in my home who were demanding a routine and schedule that I should have had in place for a decade. I finally did it!

We went to bed by a certain time, got up by a certain time, and had routines throughout the weekdays.

Weekends were another story.

Yes, the twins and I kept nearly the same schedule, but I was exhausted trying to keep up with all five kids on those weekend days, and then adding a couple here and there for sleepovers or random babysitting times when my sister had a fire call to respond to.

Did I enjoy those extras? Oh yes! We always had fun when other kids were here, family or not! But it would wear me out quickly.

Sometimes it took days to recoup from those types of events, yet I am not complaining in the least! My children were happy, and so was I! But my body was not. Ever.

Daily repeats, over and over.

Weekly repeats, over and over.

While it was good, it wasn’t fulfilling. There were still missing pieces, and I wasn’t finding them and putting them together. Just going through the motions.

And then BOOM! “Shelter In Place.”

Y’all…

The first week was scattered!

The twins and I kept our routine. The older boys did not. They stayed up late, slept late, stayed up later, and so on.

We spent the first month of this mess indoors more than outdoors because Mother Nature was also in a bit of an upset, raining, snow flurries, more rain, frost, rain…

Cabin Fever set in, and lasted longer than I was comfortable with.

We lost focus. We lost our direction.

School lunches were still being delivered every day, yet only half the time were the kids even awake in time to eat them before they were soggy, cold, and not so appetizing anymore.

I walked around my disastrous house in a fog, sipping my coffee, hoping that everyone would sleep just a little longer so I could get my head on straight. Then I would be angry that they slept so late because nothing productive got done.

Laundry piled up.

Dishes piled up.

Trash spilled out of the trash can.

The day my car wouldn’t start, when I NEEDED it to, was the day I finally snapped.

My poor mother got the brunt of it over the phone, when I just railed about how I hate my car, I hate that the house is a mess, I hate that I feel like a slave in a house full of lazy men, and I hate that I’m alone. Always, alone!

Yes, I had a meltdown of biblical proportions!

But I needed to! And that’s where we are all kinda losing it a bit. We hold it in, keep it together, until we bust into pieces over the smallest things.

I think my first mistake was not formulating a plan.

I didn’t bother to write out direction for myself, my older boys, or for us as a family unit. I just decided to let that first week be our “break” to try to adjust to what was going on in the world around us, and then pick up from there.

BAD IDEA!

Hindsight is 20/20, right?!

So, this weekend I have been sitting in my bedroom a lot, writing many things down. Lists, schedules, chores, menus, planning and strategizing the upcoming month of May, because our Illinois Governor has said that we will remain in a “modified shelter in place” plan until the end of May, 2020… for now.

And let’s admit it. We have no idea when this will truly end!

Many schools are already out for the year. Some contemplating not even planning their start back in August until they know it’s “safe” to do so.

This is it.

This is “normal” for now.

And what are we doing with it?

I’m not even going to sugarcoat it. I haven’t done much!

We planted some plants for our garden. We have kept them ALL alive and growing. But they are not IN the garden yet. They are still in planters and seedling trays. It has been to wet for us to till up the land to start the garden.

We’ve played games, done puzzles, cooked fun meals and snacks together, and rearranged some furniture here and there as well.

But have we actually DONE something with our time in “quarantine?”

No.

I have talked and talked about the good days we have had, and even a couple of the rough ones. And while everyone having peace and being happy is something that truly matters more than anything else, what also matters is that we actually get somewhere with this. And while we have… we also haven’t.

That is about to change!

It will be an interesting change, I understand, as we will be going from no schedule at all to somewhat of a tight run shipwreck kind of thing. I’m kind of excited, and I’m kind of dreading it! Ha!

So, what was “normal” for me before all this began? Just a little bit of chaos.

What is “normal” now? More chaos!

And what will my “new normal” be? Maybe a little less chaotic, and a little more structured. Tight run shipwreck!

Have no fear! I will be journaling, and hopefully blogging, my entire experience from day one! It will be a fun one to be sure! And maybe a little tense, but what change isn’t?!

The point is, my friends, that we have an opportunity to experiment with no limits! We can change the course of many things from this day forward! Is it something to be excited about? YES! Is it something to take seriously? YES! Is it going to be easy? NOPE! Will it be stressful, confusing, frustrating, and at times infuriating? Most likely!

BUT!

The end result can be the best “normal” you and your family have ever had to this point! It can be the game-changer for individuals, parents, kids, family units, and alter your future in ways you cannot even imagine yet!

That is what I am hoping for with my little army, here. We have had enough stress in our lives. We have had enough tension. We are done with drama, depression, anxiety, falling behind, falling apart, and not coming back together completely. Breaking off a little more at a time.

The earth is healing and growing into a new “normal” for herself, and we can take this opportunity to do the same.

It is trial and error, my friends! Try a new thing! If it works, keep it! If it doesn’t work, toss it and try something else! None of us are the same, and none of us are going to get to our happiness the same way. The point is getting there. And KEEPING it.

That is the “normal” I am shooting for.