Anxiety | My Joyfully Chaotic Life

How We Are Surviving Quarantine Life

by Becca McConnell | Apr 17, 2020 | Anxiety, Autism, Coping with Stress, Depression, Family, Family Health, Lifestyle, Motherhood, Motivation, Parenting, Quarantine Life

I know I am not alone when I say this has been the weirdest, longest year I have had in a very, long time!

And it’s only April!

I mean, it trumps the strife of past trials, the anxiety of past situations, and the sorrow of past losses!

This Coronavirus / Social Distance Protocol has been an unprecedented, once in a lifetime, kind of situation that has impacted the entire world! Every family, every household, everyone everywhere has been affected by this in one way or another!

It has been crazy! It has been hard! It has been something we have never dealt with, and I hope we never have to deal with it again!

Now, I was going to post some ideas for others to use for surviving this social distance lifestyle, but I am going to post it in a blog format of how WE have survived by doing certain things…

We distance ourselves from each other at home.

Something of great importance in our world is personal space.

I am a single mom with five kids. One is a teenager, one is just months away from being the same, and one is almost 10 years old. Then we have the infant twins.

To keep the peace, I value the personal space of my children over my own. Yes, I understand this is not the choice many people would suggest, but I have recently discovered that the happiness and “stress-free” faces of my children give me more peace than my personal space. Plus, I get lots of personal space when I am in my room where I retreat to, less often, these days.

LOTS of outdoor time!

If it wasn’t for living in the country, we would have lost our sanity long ago!

My boys live outside on the best of days, and the worst of days. They dig, play tag, hide and seek, farm, battle, nerf wars, and just play with the animals that are around our house; real and stuffies. Haha!

The babies have been able to enjoy some outdoor time, as well. Taking walks up and down our little, country road in their stroller with me and the kiddos, and just sitting and watching all of us do things. They have also enjoyed watching the chickens and other animals roam around, too.

Therapy for everyone!

Now, this isn’t the therapy that most people would expect, but it has been amazing for me and the minions!

Cooking therapy for myself and Micah. He LOVES to help me in the kitchen. Just me and him, alone, working together to make something for everyone.

He loves to make brownies, cookies, and cakes mostly. But he wants to help me with anything I am doing in there, and it does so much for him!

Titus likes to just sit and talk to me, so we sit together and chat often. He has some of the most amazing ideas in that brain of his! And his monologues are gut splitting hilarious!

Levi mostly takes care of his own therapy, alone or talking to his father on the phone. But his greatest therapy of all is playing with the twins! He ADORES these babies! He will spend hours just laying in the floor with them, sitting up with them and showing them funny stuff on his phone, watching little pre-school cartoons on Netflix with them, and just loving on them.

Me? Well, my personal therapy is my writing, some reading, LONG showers, and walking around the flower gardens and looking at the amazing things that were planted by the generations before me. And thunderstorms! I will sit and enjoy a good storm as long as I can without getting soaked! My favorite part about the storms is when they are blowing in, and I can get amazing pictures of the fronts!

Also, the greatest thing to boost my spirits is when I see the spirits of my children boosted as well. That is the ultimate happy for this mama, living the quarantine lifestyle.

Finding projects and ideas outside of school and chores!

Before we were told to stay at home, I knew it was coming. I went to the store and got puzzle books, reading material, mind bending games, and some other fun things for us to entertain ourselves with through this time.

What I forgot was printer paper! So, all the printable things that are being sent to us from the school, plus the material I am finding online that we could be using I am unable to print off, because I forgot printer paper! (sigh)

At first, I thought I had plenty of printer paper. And I did! What happened to it? I’m so glad you asked! This is the fun part!

My boys had been using my printer’s scanning feature to scan random items around the house! I’m talking, photos, papers, signs, wallets, cards, toys, food (candy mostly), body parts!

The sheets of paper they had been bringing me, I didn’t even think about them coming from my only reem of paper! I was too entertained by their antics to think about it.

In conclusion, it doesn’t take much to survive this situation, but on some days it takes all we have.

And I understand that all we have isn’t much sometimes as well. There have been days I have had nothing left to give. No laundry, dishes, cleaning, school work, or chores would be done. No games played. No Talks given. Just, barely getting through and doing the bare necessities. And that’s okay!

What is most important is finding your survival tools, and using them!

Here are a few things in our little toolbox we have used:

Long showers

DIY Projects

Going for walks outside our house

Baking

Cooking

Planting things

Playing boardgames

Playing cardgames

Binging Netflix or Hulu with snacks

Moving furniture and rearranging rooms

Scavenger hunts (indoors and outdoors)

Reading books

Doing puzzles

Going for a drive

Some of the things we do together, and some we do on our own. That’s the beauty of our situation! Multiple opportunities to grow into our own, get to know our families better, getting to know ourselves better!

In this trying time we are finding ourselves in ways we never would have otherwise. We are finding out how strong we are, what we can handle, and the things we are able to do in times of struggle! But, that’s a post for another day.

Much love!

Becca

Cabin Fever Has Set In!

by Becca McConnell | Apr 9, 2020 | Anxiety, Coping with Stress, Depression, Family, Family Health, House Work, Lifestyle, Motherhood, Motivation, Parenting, Quarantine Life, Self Care

Cabin Fever has set in.

Everyone is cranky, and nobody can get along for any longer than ten minutes, so it seems.

Moods are shifty, tension is high, and I have felt completely helpless to solve any problem in my household, period.

Dishes are piled everywhere. Laundry (both clean and dirty) has found its way out of place and in every room.

If I were to take a trash bag through the house with me today, I would fill it as I walk from my bedroom to my kitchen. Maybe not with trash alone, but with everything that is in my way, underfoot, and things that I am tired of looking at where they do not belong! And the trash, of course.

We’ve had rain. Thunderstorms. Tornado warnings. And more rain.

It got warm and sunny, and then it got cold and cloudy. Mother Nature is still trying to figure out if she really wants spring to fully be here yet.

And the Cabin Fever continues…

Last Friday was that “Amazing Day” we had and yet, starting that very night, at bedtime after everyone was supposed to be settled and, in their beds, sleeping, mayhem began.

The babies didn’t sleep well that night. Fussy and restless, we were all awake nearly the entire night.

Saturday morning, I crawled out of my bed exhausted and ready for coffee.

The coffee didn’t help. And THAT was a first!

Apparently, the boys had stayed awake nearly all night as well, and were only asleep when the sun came up Saturday morning. I was too focused on the babies to realize they were all up, too. Besides Levi. He kept checking on me and the twins.

Bless his little heart!!

I spent the majority of the weekend dealing with fussy babies, dishes, laundry, mess all over the place leftover from the baby cave-man party of five boy children the day before, and tracks of mud and dirt from the front door of my house to the bathroom, where showers were taken and muddy clothes dropped all around.

My nerves were shot when the boys decided they could finally rise from their little places of sweet sleep and rest. Getting anyone to participate in ANY productive activity was like dragging them to school on a Monday, any given week!

And then, real Monday happened.

And it happened all over the place! All week!

Weather complications kept children indoors much of the time, causing further tensions and some excessive arguments and outbursts, and pressure on my already snapping strings!

And then, the miraculous happened!

Electronics were taken away from the older boys, instructions given for two options: productive work around the house and yard with me, or, exiting the house and participating in fun and games TOGETHER outside.

Of course, they chose the latter of the options.

And it worked!

We went for a walk one day, worked outside on some small things another day, and I got more things done inside while they were out from under my feet on the rest of the time! It was great!

We had the ups and downs, of course, but progress was made! I feel like we are back on track! Dinners together in the evening (instead of random snack foods munched on around the house in our own spaces), actual conversations without arguments and drama, and, of course, my seeds are growing and making me smile more and more each day!

The kids still keep me up half the night, but I have coffee.

There’s still sibling drama, but I have coffee.

We still struggle with some things like, schoolwork, certain chores, and fighting during certain video games, but I have coffee.

I have sat up late at night with fussy babies, or just fussy myself… but I have coffee!

Coffee isn’t the only thing that has kept me going through this little Cabin Fever situation, thankfully! We have worked through some of our issues and come so some solutions together.

Setting timers, making lists, taking breaks, and just having our “personal time” away from each other, even in this tiny house, we have been able to survive Cabin Fever amazingly!

Annnnnd, now that I have things moving in order in the right direction, I get to apply some new things into our schedule and routine!

I am excited, the boys are kind of excited, and I know it is going to be a great turning point for us in this “Social Distance” life!

Cabin Fever is still a thing, but it’s not as bad as it was at the beginning of the week! That is enough for me!

Now…

To keep things going in the right direction.

Wish me luck? Haha!

Nah… we are going to do great! And I can’t wait to share the other things we will have going on, and the ideas I have!

There will be written work done, some photo opportunities, videos and audios, and just a lot of things to share from my little family to yours.

Things from “Quarantine Life Survival Kits and Guides”, written by me, to “Bedtime stories: told by the children, not read from a book” which is self-explanatory, and “Cabin Fever Recovery” because that is the one that I needed the most, and I know there are plenty of people out there now who need that as well!

I am looking forward to the next post, and I hope that you are too!

Much Love!

Becca

Quarantine Life Isn’t So Bad!

by Becca McConnell | Mar 27, 2020 | Anxiety, Coping with Stress, Depression, Family, Family Health, Lifestyle, Motherhood, Motivation, Parenting, Self Care

While everyone in the world is giving their “Quarantine” updates to the world, I thought I’d just give you an update in ours… our normal life, routine… our chaos. 😊

I am thankful for the other bloggers out there, who are telling their stories of how they are surviving the 2020 Coronavirus Pandemic, and the quarantine life that they are now living. It gives hope to the rest of the people out there who are struggling to keep their emotions in check, their head above water, and their sanity… period!

I, however, have been silent mostly because I have had to stay strong for myself, my kids, and my family on the frontlines.

My older three boys were excited at first, when they heard that there would be a break from school. This comes as no surprise to those who know us well, because I have two boys who struggle and would rather not attend the brick and mortar schools for their education.

It was vacation, early!

They went to school on Monday, March 9, 2020, to receive their packets and have a final day with their classmates and teachers. When they got off the bus that afternoon, they were under the impression that they would be out until March 31, 2020. I let them believe that would be their reality… for a time.

I knew otherwise.

It was only the beginning.

The reality was that, I knew it would be longer than the end of March before we saw and end to the crisis our world is enduring, but we are in a tunnel. A dark tunnel, with no end in sight just yet.

Things are so different, and yet they are the same.

We get up, dress for the day, eat breakfast. I clean, do dishes, laundry, and scroll FB or news pages, to see the latest in the world. The kids play games, read something, do a page or two of their school packets, and play more. On warm days they play outside. On the cooler days (like today) they hang out indoors.

It’s like summer vacation, but with some extra academics they would normally leave behind until August.

In my home, with my family, our world isn’t entirely different during this “social distance” time of our lives. Yes, some things are different, but overall, we are doing the same things we have done for years in our little world.

And yet, the difference (for almost everyone) is this:

We aren’t scrolling social media with our normal ideas in mind. We are looking for the latest cases of a virus, new positive tests, where they are, new deaths, new recoveries.

We are looking for our state governors press conferences, giving us updates for our areas, and what new restrictions we may have to endure.

We wait for the Presidential press conference where he gives us a national update, updates from FEMA, FDA, medical and other professional updates for the entire country as a whole.

We find memes that make light of our situation, give us laughs, smiles, and humor in our trying times.

We find people talking about how they are helping their fellow man in need during these trying times.

We see good and bad everywhere, and hope to find an end to this tunnel we are in.

People have opinions about the virus itself, how others are handling it, supplies for the medical world, necessities for the population, and so on.

I have read many opinions, watched many press conferences, and listened to many people speak about the pandemic, the struggle, and its affect on the entire world.

And I sit in my house, with my children, as any normal day…

And I smile.

What have I to smile about? I’m so glad you asked!

The past few weeks my boys and I have had many conversations. I have heard their fears, their adjustments, their perspective on things, and their dreams for their futures.

We have read books, played games, put some puzzles together, cooked some (very) unique meals together, made brownies, muffins, and even FIXED my stove issue I’ve had for months!

We have cleaned up a large portion of our yard that looked rough for quite some time, and planted seeds for a garden we are excited to see grow this year.

We have played with the babies, A LOT, and shared so many giggles, laughs, smiles, and fun that I have found this entire situation to be one of the biggest blessings for myself, my children, and my home.

My soul needed some searching time, and I got it!

My heart needed some cleansing time, and I got it!

My mind needed some new creativity time, and I got it!

My children needed more time with me, and we got it!

I understand that cabin fever is an issue, and we have dealt with it a little already.

But the world is still turning, the sun is still rising and setting, and the one thing we have in our favor right now is time. It’s still moving, which is great, because as it passes answers are being found, steps are being taken, and once time passes and this is a thing of our past, we will have many things to look back on… memories only, of the tragedy, the crisis, the pandemic that changed our lives… if we let it.

And I have let it. I have let change creep into my world, change for the better. And in this life, that is what matters.

Much Love,

Becca

Stop! Take some “Me Time”

by Becca McConnell | Mar 3, 2020 | Anxiety, Back To School, Coping with Stress, Depression, Family Health, Lifestyle, Motherhood, Motivation, Parenting, Self Care

As a mother, I find that I rarely take time for myself. It’s all about the kids in my life, and I am more than happy to have this role!

As a Single Mother, though, I tend to lose myself more often than not and it takes a toll on me physically, mentally, and emotionally from time to time.

From the rising of the sun we are go, go, go.

Kids up, showered, ready for their buses to school. If they miss said buses, hurry and get a hold of the grandparents next door to make sure they noticed the bus leaving without one or more children… Yes, folks. This is my life.

After everyone is off to school, whether on a bus or in a grandparent vehicle, it is time to tend to the twinsies.

Babies fed and cared for, on to household chores while they entertain themselves with their fun toys and flashy, loud music things.

Dishes, laundry, clean, break for coffee (probably the second or third cup by now… don’t hate!), back to it, break again to feed, change, and put babies down for a nap…

I Try to work in some blogging, posting on social media for my other job ( I am an independent Scentsy consultant – full time ), feed myself (probably for the first time that day), and back to babies when they wake… around the same time the older three get home from school (again, bus or grandparent vehicle).

About the parent vehicle part, I will have to post a blog about my darling maternal grandparents very soon! My relationship with them is definitely an entire blog posting on its own!

Kids get home, snacks, games, homework (if they admit they have any), some boy fights here and there, scrapes, bangs and booms, supper, showers, more scrapping, gaming, and playing with the babies (they actually do that A LOT), and finally bed!

Typically, I lay in my bed after everyone is sound asleep, NIGHTLY, and wonder where in the world the day went and how I missed it so easily!

Sometimes I sit and take selfies, in hopes that I can use them in a blog post someday, too!

I run through my mental checklist:

Did I make the phone calls I told myself LAST NIGHT I was going to make today?

Did I eat more than once?

Did I get everyone’s stuff back in their backpacks, so we don’t go hunting for papers tomorrow?

Did I shower?! *sniffs under arms* Yeah, we’re good.

Can grocery shopping wait till the day after tomorrow?

Did I check my planner? *near panic*

Did I miss any appointments?

*checks planner in the dark*

Ok, whew! We’re good.

Wait… what if I didn’t write something down and I did have an appointment that we missed?? *panic again*

*Takes out notebook, in the dark, and begins tomorrow’s checklist*

*Falls asleep writing…*

630am next morning, Repeat.

OK STOP!!

This is where you HAVE to stop the cycle! It HAS to end! If it doesn’t, you will find yourself exhausted, frustrated, emotionally wrecked, spread too thin, and eventually burnt out completely!

Take a minute. I don’t care if it’s midnight tonight, or in that single, quiet moment after the kids are out the door for school.

Take a DEEP breath! Hold it for a few seconds. Let it out… SLOWLY.

Repeat!

Moms are built to withstand a lot in this life, but sometimes we put more on ourselves than necessary, and sometimes the load needs to lighten.

So, after you take that breath, find your planner, phone app, whatever you need, and if you have to-schedule yourself into your own life! Get your “Me Time” in, and everyone around you will be better for it! You, most of all!

Mama, your health matters! All of it! Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual! Every part of you is important and I support you taking the time you need to see to your health!

If you only have 30 minutes a day to yourself, don’t spend it on social media. Find something that you think about, something maybe you miss doing because you never have time anymore. Make time for it!

Take a walk.

Don’t like walking? Go for a drive.

In the car too much? Sit under a tree, or on the porch, and soak in some sun.

Don’t like being outside? Sit at the kitchen table with a magazine, newspaper, book, puzzle, journal, or something to occupy your hands and mind with.

Listen to a podcast!

Don’t like reading? Honey get you an audio book! There are free apps for them!

Take a long, relaxing bath.

Don’t have a tub? (I don’t!) Take a long hot shower with music playing in the bathroom. Don’t lie… you take your phone in there!

Lay down for a bit and enjoy the silence.

Don’t think you can lay still? Take that audio book or podcast with you and listen to it there!

Bake cookies! Or brownies! I like to use the cheater boxes that only take 3 ingredients and 30 minutes!

Kids all over you every minute of the day, you say! Tell them it’s time to do chores if they are going to hang around inside the house! Booyah! Instant solitude!

Just wait. If you have an excuse, I have a solution!

Your time is important! And it’s just as important to YOU as it is to anyone else out there! There is only ONE you! Use wisely!

There really is serious meaning to “stop and smell the roses” people. It doesn’t have to be that you stop and smell flowers all the time. No! It means take that moment. Take note of the little things around you. One of those things being your ability to stop! Because, you CAN!

Don’t give yourself to everyone around you until there is nothing left.

Remember that you deserve some of you too.

Late Night Ramblings of A Sleepless Mama

by Becca McConnell | Feb 23, 2020 | Anxiety, Coping with Stress, Depression, Family, Family Health, House Work, Motherhood, Motivation, Parenting, Self Care

Tonight I lay on my bed, listening to the sounds of short videos on electronic devices in various rooms in the house, baby noises coming from the cribs as the twins cheerfully fight the sleep they need so badly, and the scraping and thumping outside my window as the cat settles herself into her nest atop my window A/C unit.

And I laugh.

I laugh because that was a great daydream description of my night!

The noises are actually the videos PLUS the arguing of said older boys as they fight over what to watch or listen to. The baby noises are the cries and fussing of the babies as they fight that sleep they do need very badly. Plus one is slightly constipated and having some pain from that, adding to the misery. The cat is yowling outside my window trying to get inside. Again.

Today has been less than exciting, but not boring in the least! There was constant activity and motion in every room, all day. Mom is tired. Mom is slightly grouchy.

Mom can’t wait to go to church tomorrow to learn about the love of Jesus.

It was a typical Saturday in the dragon lair, with a little less joy and a little more chaos than normal.

At first I didn’t mind, but as the day grew on it became slightly frustrating.

But now I’m laying here in my bed, underneath warm, heavy covers, listening to the sounds around me and I find myself simply thankful. The babies have settled and are sleeping.

The arguing has ended and now the sounds are simply a single music sound coming from the other room, accompanied by the soft giggles of three brothers who remember their connection and love for each other at the end of a long day. And the cat has left the window perch to do other things, or even sleep hopefully.

And I remember back on the day.

So what, if I didn’t wash five loads of laundry today. The one from the washer got dried and that’s what matters.

So what, if I didn’t fix three full meals today. The kids had pancakes for breakfast, fixed by the gourmet chef child in the house. We all had some random self made lunches. And I made a roast and everyone enjoyed that for supper. The babies had their bottles and baby foods and were well entertained today. And that’s what matters.

So what, if me and the older dragon babies didn’t read ten books today. They had fun, played outside in the sunlight several times, and even helped me clean up some inside the house. They even moved furniture too! And we had fun doing it! And that’s what matters.

So what, if everyone wasn’t in bed and sleeping soundly to baby Mozart by 845pm. They all showered, brushed their teeth, and were settled in the 10pm hour. And the ones who are awake later were actually up helping their tired mama with the fussy infants struggling against their sleep and belly aches. And THAT is what matters.

It wasn’t the best day. But it was a good day. In all the ways that matter. I’m writing this tonight because I had a bad mom moment today.

I got frustrated more than once because the day wasn’t going how I had hoped it would. And I took it out in conversation with my mother, and in frustration in my kitchen, and speaking more of my mind than my parenting words to the older kiddos. And it was the part of my day that I consider “not good.”

We sat and talked some tonight and made it all better.

One thing my mom said to me this week stuck with me tonight. “When we become parents we are thrown head first into a full time job for which we have zero experience. And by the time we get the experience the children are grown. We only get one shot at being parents, and there is no manual. Every child is different. Every parent is different. And it’s a learning process from start to finish.”

I’m a single mom. I’ve been in this role for a while now. I don’t have a partner to support my parenting, enforce rules, encourage me and my kids to be the best we can be, or back me in parenting decisions or help me make the right ones. It’s all me. And guys, that’s heavy.

Yes, I have a support system. But that support is only certain forms, and only reaches so far. There’s a lot that lands only on my shoulders, and I have my days where the weight seems more than I can bear.

Is it truly? No. Because I have made it through 100% of my hardest days so far!

But I’m reflecting tonight because I had to sit and remind myself that there is joy in the midst of my chaos. There are many reasons to smile and laugh, every single day. More than we know. And even though I didn’t smile and laugh as much throughout today as I normally do, I sat down and reminded myself of my smile moments tonight. And with those moments on my mind, I will sleep better tonight.

And that is what matters!

Much love!

Becca

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